finally answers

I tried to get Rich into the neurosurgeon right before Autumn's wedding but they wouldn't see him without a current MRI. That ticked me off because he had one less then a year ago and I didn't feel like I needed to fork out another 3000.00 just for a consultation. I let it go and then was in paying the bill for the pain specialist a few weeks ago and realized the neuro office was right there as well. I figured it wouldn't hurt to stop and talk to them in person versus the scheduler over the phone.  They let me speak to his nurse and I explained the situation to her, she agreed to ask the Dr if he would be willing to see Rich anyways and call me back. The next morning I got a call saying he would see us. I made the appointment and Monday we met with him. It was beyond discouraging. He told us the MRI showed Rich wasn't that bad and he could do nothing for us at all. He explained he doesn't cut into people just to cut into them and even if we had 1,000,000.00 cash to offer he still would not do the surgery that he believes surgery is only a last resort. He said he would refer us back to the pain specialist and they could try other things. He could obviously see Rich was in a lot of pain when he examined him and said it didn't make sense the MRI showed some issues but not that bad for the amount of pain he was in,. He also knew we were beyond discouraged and said if we agreed he would send us for an xray where Rich was standing up and bending both forward and backward but he really didn't expect to see any change and rarely does the MRI and xray show anything different. He told me after the xray he would call in a few days and let us know. We went for the xray and at noon the next day he personally called me and told me the xray showed what we were missing that he was eating his words and this was a game changer. This was on Wed. he was going out of town the following week but wanted to meet with us to discuss our options. He personally made the appointment for Friday to see us.

We went in and he told us and showed us the xrays. What the MRI did not show because Rich was laying down for the MRI and standing up for the xray is every time he moves his L3 disk moves and shifts around. The disk should be stable. There is no padding between the vertebrae and it is basically bone on bone and also every time he sits down the vertebrae squishes all the nerves and makes it excruciating for Rich because obviously nerves cause pain. Surgery is the ONLY thing that will fix him. All the time and money we wasted at the pain specialist never did a thing all because a stupid MRI never showed us what the real problem is. Talk about frustration. I honestly believe the Dr. was only ordering the xray to appease us because we were so discouraged.

Rich needs to have his disk fused. Its a hard surgery and the Dr. explained it is not an easy surgery and one he never recommends if there are any other options. He also told us Rich will never be pain free ( we already figured that) but he feels he can get him a lot better quality of life then we are living now. As it stands now we can never plan anything or do anything because he is always in such an incredible amount of pain. Usually if we do anything as a family he is either high on pain pills or has to stay home while the girls and I go. Its discouraging and not fair to him or my kids.

In December we had already decided we were going to sell the house. It was a hard decision but at the same time not really. We are a slave to this house and I am tired of it. It also has way to much land and Rich can't take care of it and honestly I don't have the time to do it either. Plus we have had some issues with our neighbors and want a smaller yard that is fenced where our dogs have freedom to run.

We love this house, have raised our kids here, but its just that a house. Anywhere we move can be a home and I know without a doubt in the long run we will be so much better off financially and time wise as well. We have some work to do before we can sell and it will be tough because his back is in such bad shape and most of it he has to do. Today we started to tear the master bath apart. That is the main thing we need to fix.  Tymber loved using the sledge hammer to rip up the shower and jumped right in to help.

We plan on getting the house on the market as soon as we can. I pray it will sell quickly. Then we plan on moving to Pocatello and renting for 6-12 months and eventually buy an older house that we can do some fixing up to. As soon as we sell and move we will schedule his surgery. I really hope by fall we can be settled so I can start the kids in new schools ( Tymber is not really happy especially because she got accepted to the new charter school here) we haven't told Hope yet but will soon. I am  sure she will be sad but as long as we move somewhere where she has kids to play with she will be okay she makes friends easily and is pretty easy going. He will be in the hospital 3-5 days after surgery and then out of work anywhere from 8-12 weeks for recovery. He has short term disability but it is only half of what his paycheck is and there is no way in heck we can live in this house and let him have surgery.

This next year is going to be hard but I have no doubt we are doing what we need to to better our lives and the lives of our children. We have faith God will see us through.